Reunited

So uh my best bud CJ left for a week to California. And so did Amy. And so did Whitney. I didn't even know what to do with myself. So I went to Park City and Lagoon with my family. But guess what! Me, CJ and Whitney have been reunited.

CUTE KIDS:) 

This is my fam bam at Lagoon

AND this is me and Amy the day she left for California:(

Ridin Solo

I have come to several realizations this past weekend. Number one, I am worth it and if he can't see that, then he isn't. I don't even know the other ones, this is just the most important one. I am really proud of myself at the moment because this past weekend James did exactly what he has been doing on and off for the past few weeks which is mess with my emotions. He calls me when he wants to be with me, but when I call him and want to hangout, or I need him, he isn't around and he was "busy". So this weekend was the LAST FUCKING STRAW. I'm done. I have never been strong enough for that before, but I am this time. I know that he is not worth it because I finally remember that I am worth the time and the effort and if he isn't going to put that time and effort in, SEE YA, I'm over it. Well, I mean I'm not over it exactly...but I know its the right thing to do to not talk to him anymore. The hard part is, I know he really does need me around, but he hasn't really realized how much yet and when that comes, I hope he realizes he just missed out big time. I know I am gonna be ok, even without the boy I thought was perfect, because as long as I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father (which I'm working really hard on) I'm gonna be ok :) Missionary letters definitely help too;)

By the way, I'm not really engaged. That was all made up. Someone believed it cuz me and James told someone that and they thought we were serious...so I bought a $5 ring so it seemed real. NOT ENGAGED.

What Every Party Girl Needs

DRY SHAMPOO. Best thing ever. Amy just leaves a can in her car so that way, when we are on our way to 80s, or wherever, we can always shampoo our hair real quick if it looks dirty! This is an example from this thursday night...

perfect.

This thursday was also Miss Jentri White's first time at 80s!! Soooo glad she came with us, we had a blast. 

loooove these girls:)

Why Can't You Read My Mind?

Boys think its a problem, but really its just a fact of life. Girls want boys to read their mind. You know what, it isn't that hard. Girls are always the same. The code is easy to figure out. "I'm not mad" means "You better make up for it right this second." "i'm cold" means "please hold me". "I miss you" means "come see me now". "i had really hard day" means "make it better". "don't call me later." means "call me before I freak out." "hope you have fun" means "hope your night sucks without me" and there are so many more, but they are always the same. So just learn them, and you'll be alright:)

Honesty

Honesty is all I ever ask for. I'm not blogging about this because of any specific event that has happened recently, I just want to blog about how important honesty is to me, and to most people. Obviously I haven't been 100% honesty my whole life, but who has? No one. It doesn't happen. But we can do our absolute very best, and we should never ever lie to the people we love. Boys should never lie to girls, and girls should never lie to boys. Sometimes the truth hurts, but its easier to get over the truth one time then to try to get over a thousand lies. Don't feed me shit just because you know the truth will hurt me, I am a big girl and I can handle it. If you think the person you are going to lie to can't handle it, they need to learn sometime. Its always better to be honest, and thats something I still tell myself. Honesty is something we all work on for our entire life, its one of our tests so treat it like one. Don't lie to me. 

Reminder

EVERY 
             little
    t.h.i.n.g.
   is gonna be ALRIGHT:)

Rough Day

Last night I went to bed in a bad mood. This morning, I woke up in a bad mood. I found out yesterday that I am failing my spanish class. I completely panicked. Things have just been rough on me lately and I am trying to figure out how to get out of this rut. I have started seeing a counselor and that has helped me so much. But I have only gone twice. I feel like school is what is bringing me down. I don't enjoy it very much. My classes are boring and I don't like my teachers. Maybe that is the problem though, I say don't way too much. I think I need a serious attitude check. I let too many things piss me off and thats definitely not working for me. Right now, I feel like I don't have the support I need from anyone so I need to do this on my own. No one can change my attitude for me, I gotta do this by myself. I do this thing where I try and run from my problems, but that has not been working out for me. I avoid and avoid and avoid until it slaps me in the face and I'm back on my butt. Telling me to stop running doesn't help. Telling me that I need to change doesn't help. Telling me how great I used to be doesn't help. I can't go back to where I was, I can only move forward and become even better than who I was. Stop trying to help me when you know you can't. The only one that can help me now is God and I pray and pray that He will hear my cries and tell me what to do with my life. I don't understand what my life is worth and I am always one step away from giving up. I know I can come back, but this road has bruised me and cut me more than I could have ever imagined. People always say, "You can do hard things." I am trying so hard to believe that right now. The more I pray and the more I drop to my knees, I think I will find my path. The process is quite the downer, but hopefully I can get there before it is too late. I cry out for help but the only way to be heard is to cry out when on my knees with my arms folded; my cry is sent to Heaven because that is the only place I know is listening. I can do hard things, but only when I start on my knees. Some say you have to hit rock bottom to climb to your potential. I think I have found my rock bottom and it is time to start climbing. Watch me make it. 

Fam Bam

I love my family. I fight a lot with my mom, but I will always love her and I know how much she loves me. I love how close my extended family is as well. I just felt like showing some appreciation for my family this morning so I wanted to post some good pictures of us.

This is pretty much my whole mom's side of the family.

 

engaged? what?

Yep...look at that! Engaged. Weird right? Well here is the story. Laying on his tramp just chatting about anything and everything. I start talking about how impatient I am, then we start talking about how every time we have hung out, EVERY SINGLE TIME, there has been a shooting star. Then, we see one. And bam hes on one knee and now engaged. Just like a movie? Ya, I think so too. 

Support

Everyone needs a support system. I know I sure do. I have many people that support me and I have no idea where I would be without it. Sometimes I like to try and do everything on my own and thats when I get knocked down over and over again until I can finally admit that I was wrong and I need help. That is exactly what happened to me this summer. I was in a terrible place and good friends is what pulled me out. Admitting we need help is one of the hardest things we could ever do but its so important.

80s Errry thursday with Amy!

Me and Amy have a big tradition. Every Thursday night we go to Area 51 to go 80s dancing. It really is my release for the week and I love it! Of course we take a million pictures every time and I think our pics are really the only way to describe it:)

So much fun! I'm sure there will be more and more pics cuz we really do go every week:)