Ridin Solo

I have come to several realizations this past weekend. Number one, I am worth it and if he can't see that, then he isn't. I don't even know the other ones, this is just the most important one. I am really proud of myself at the moment because this past weekend James did exactly what he has been doing on and off for the past few weeks which is mess with my emotions. He calls me when he wants to be with me, but when I call him and want to hangout, or I need him, he isn't around and he was "busy". So this weekend was the LAST FUCKING STRAW. I'm done. I have never been strong enough for that before, but I am this time. I know that he is not worth it because I finally remember that I am worth the time and the effort and if he isn't going to put that time and effort in, SEE YA, I'm over it. Well, I mean I'm not over it exactly...but I know its the right thing to do to not talk to him anymore. The hard part is, I know he really does need me around, but he hasn't really realized how much yet and when that comes, I hope he realizes he just missed out big time. I know I am gonna be ok, even without the boy I thought was perfect, because as long as I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father (which I'm working really hard on) I'm gonna be ok :) Missionary letters definitely help too;)

By the way, I'm not really engaged. That was all made up. Someone believed it cuz me and James told someone that and they thought we were serious...so I bought a $5 ring so it seemed real. NOT ENGAGED.